


These Days (Everything Seems Dark)

by purestilinski



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) Spoilers, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post Ant-Man and the Wasp, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 16:37:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15319704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purestilinski/pseuds/purestilinski
Summary: Tony Stark sits up, running his hands through his messy hair. It's October 10th. He rolls out of bed, almost tripping over his own feet as he stumbles to the door.





	These Days (Everything Seems Dark)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little messy, especially towards the end. Regardless, I hope you enjoy.

October 10th.

 

Tony Stark sits up, running his hands through his messy hair.

 

It’s October 10th.

 

He rolls out of bed, almost tripping over his own feet as he stumbles to the door. His beard is scraggly and he briefly thinks about shaving before making his way out of the room. He passes one of the compound’s many living rooms and spots Steve inside, drinking a cup of coffee. He ignores the super-soldier and makes his way to the elevator. The metal doors slide open and Natasha steps out.

 

“Hi,” is the only word that comes out of her mouth.

 

He grunts in response, stepping into the elevator and pressing the button for the lobby. He’s sure most everybody is up by now, both Avengers and civilians alike. But he doesn’t want to talk to them. The complex is filled to the brim with residents. Ever since the proverbial end of the world, the remaining Avengers had gathered family and friends in order to protect them from the violence of the outside world.

 

The only ones still missing were Lang and his family. They had disappeared without a trace. Tony had given up the search, knowing they more than likely turned to ash during the snap two years ago. Clint, however, seemed to disagree with him, believing at least some of them to still be alive.

 

He walks out of the lobby to the rolling fields out back. The field, once empty, is now filled with the graves of the lost. As he walks through the graveyard, he takes note of the dead with his vacant eyes.

 

_Bucky Barnes._

_Sam Wilson._

_The Maximoff Twins: Wanda and Pietro._

_Loki._

_Heimdall._

_Lady Sif._

_Vision._

_King T’Challa._

_Peter Quill._

_Gamora._

_Drax._

_Groot._

_Mantis._

_Nick Fury._

_Maria Hill._

_Stephen Strange._

 

But today is October 10th. So Tony continues walking until he reaches his destination: the grave in the very back. He takes note of the fresh lilies, most likely from Natasha. Behind the flowers, Tony spots a birthday card with Steve’s handwriting on it. Mentally, he kicks himself for not bringing something. In his numb, zombie-like state, the idea never occurred to him. He opens his mouth to apologize but shuts it when he remembers there’s nobody listening.

 

So he stands in front of the grave marked _Peter Benjamin Parker_ , unable to do anything except cry. His body convulses with sobs and his eyes grow blurry from the tears.

 

He has so many regrets. He regrets not hugging the kid back when Happy dropped him off at his apartment. He regrets ignoring him for months because, _damn it_ , he should have been the one to look after the kid, not Happy. He regrets not doing much for him financially. Sure, he knew that Peter loved the desk and brand new, high-end computer Tony bought him. But he could have done so much more.

 

He should have been there when Peter faced the Vulture for the final time. He could have stopped the Vulture himself. Instead, Peter had to do it. And he almost died in the process.

 

He regrets not doing more to stop Peter from following him to Titan. He knows it probably wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. The snap would have still taken him, but at least Tony wouldn’t have been witness to it. It’s selfish, he knows. But, he’s allowed to be in this case. At least, that’s what he tells himself. Because then, the words wouldn’t haunt him everyday.

 

_Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good._

_I don’t wanna go._

_Mr. Stark, please._

 

It’s the only time he’s ever hugged the kid back, he realizes.

 

He bows his head.

______________________________________________________________________________

Hours later, he’s run out of tears. His stomach is starting to ache because he hasn’t eaten. His throat is dry too, but he hardly pays attention. He doesn’t move from his vigil.

 

“Tony, we’ve been looking for you for fifteen minutes!”

 

He recognizes the voice as Happy’s, so he offers him a brief glance before turning back to the grave. “What for?”

 

“Clint made contact. He found Lang and his daughter.”

 

He doesn’t want to go. He’d rather stay here, frozen, all day, but he knows this is important. So, he takes a deep breath and starts walking toward the compound.

 

“What about Van Dyne and Pym?”

 

“Scott said he lost all communication with them when he was in the Quantum Realm. They were gone when Clint found the van.”

 

His blood ran cold. “The Quantum Realm? How long has Scott been in there?”

 

“We believe since the snap.”

 

“Jesus Christ. Did Clint find anyone else?”

 

“Three people who claim to be friends of Scott’s. Luis, Bill, and Ava.”

 

Tony nodded, recognizing Luis as Scott’s best friend. He’s not sure who the other two are. “Friday!”

 

“Yes, boss?”

 

“Gather everyone in the hangar and prepare for Clint’s arrival.” He turns his attention to Happy. “Head to the hangar, I’ll be there shortly.”  

 

His friend looks like he’s about to protest, but Tony’s already halfway to the elevator.

______________________________________________________________________________

Five minutes later, Tony’s back at the grave. This time, he’s brought something with him. He knows it isn’t much, especially because he doesn’t have any physical object that embodies how much the kid means to him, but it’s still _something_. He gently places the neatly folded “I Survived My Trip to NYC” shirt on the ground before standing up and brushing the dirt off his jeans.

 

He has a lot of regrets.

 

But he doesn’t regret knowing Peter Parker.  

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm not exactly sure when Peter's birthday is. I checked online and found mixed answers, so I just went with one of the first dates that popped in my head. I apologize for the messiness of this fanfic, but I really hope you liked it.


End file.
